Sex on Television

Imagine sitting down in front of the TV on a Sunday night with your family. This is the time you get to relax and spend that much needed time with your family. Although you are not talking and interacting, it just feels right to be in your families presence. So you switch on the TV and start flipping through the channels. While flipping through the channels you pass a TV show that has two characters engaging in sexual activity. You switch the channel as fast as possible but your eight year old son or daughter asks, "What were those people doing?" Your relaxing evening with your family INSTANTLY turned into a discussion about what sex is and when it is appropriate. Your evening was ruined by a few seconds of (most likely) unnecessary sex on a TV show. Instead of watching a television program, you get to have that dreaded talk with your children and you have to do it with no warning or preparation. It is almost as bad as when the second graders in your Sunday School class ask you what adultery is. It is just not something you can discuss in an impromptu situation, you need time to think about the right way of explaining it.


I believe sex on television is inappropriate and not necessary. Sex is a very private emotion and activity. It is not something that should be displayed on a television screen, or at least not as often as it currently is. Seeing sex on television is not the only issue. The fact that children are seeing it on television is an issue. The fact that characters on the shows are looking for sex is an issue. The way characters dress to create a sexual appeal is an issue. And the way they promote it is an issue. 


Let's look at the show Desperate Housewives and how they portray sex. 


1. The title, Desperate Housewives could already be implying the idea of sex. Although we do not know for sure, it could mean or be taken as housewives that are desperate for sex. The title does not specify why the housewives are desperate. 


2. Let's look at some specific moments on the show that directly deal with sex. 

• When Tom Scavo became too preoccupied by his new, higher up position at his job, his wife Lynette felt left in the dust. He was canceling dates and missing dinner. While they were on a flight, instead of Lynette bringing up how she feels and talking about their problems, Lynette tried to win Tom back through sexual appeal. She got all dolled up and tried to turn him on. The problem with this is that that is not how it works in real life. Sex does not fix your problems. You actually have to and should talk about them. 

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1383839744/tt1700575

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1350285312/tt1700575

• When Carlos Solis was stressed from work and from hiding the murder, he was not performing well during sex. His wife, Gabrielle took it upon herself to hire him a stripper to teach her how to make Carlos want to have sex with her again. When that did not work, she asked the stripper to turn him on for her. Who does that??? That is not a reasonable solution. And that is not appropriate...AT ALL. 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/3850833/Eva-Longoria-in-br-pole-position.html

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/3850833/Eva-Longoria-in-br-pole-position.html

• There is a new housewife on Wisteria Lane. Renee Perry. This housewife is all about sex. She goes out with guys just for the sex at the end of the night. She is very confident in her ability and talks about who she has had sex with and who is next on her list with Lynette all of the time. Also, Renee dresses so that men will keep their eyes on her. She is the definition of sex appeal. She wears very low cut shirts and push-up bras. Her clothes are always tight fitting and flaunts what she has. It is not right for young women to see this because they need to learn to dress respectfully. If they dress professionally, there is more of a chance that they will respect themselves. Also, young women should not look allow Renee to be their role model because she would provide them with a false sense of what a relationship is about. A relationship includes so much more than sex, but not in Renee's eyes. 

http://cliqueclack.com/tv/tag/renee-perry/

http://celebritychatta.com/2010/09/26/desperate-housewives-season-7-premiere-recap/

3. Another problem with Desperate Housewives is that they have an 8pm time slot on Sunday nights. 8pm! Eight o'clock at night is still too early for a show like this. I know that bed times vary in many households but my five and eight year old cousins do not go to bed until 8:30pm. That means there is a chance for them to be flipping through the channels and see any of the sexual things listed above and more. I do not want my little boy cousins asking about this stuff at such a young age. (Especially if I am babysitting them!) If I had young, innocent children, I would not want to risk letting them see this on television. 

Desperate Housewives is known to be a provocative show so the sexuality is obvious and you know it is inevitable. You know what you are getting into when you watch it but that does not make it okay. Desperate Housewives is not the only show that implies sexuality. What about Teen Mom? We all know what had to happen in order for each couple to have a child, so they are relying on sex much like Desperate Housewives is. Teen Mom is based off of their decision to have sex and it is only putting that idea into other teenager's minds. 

In the 1950s the content on television was very tame. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo from I Love Lucy slept in separate beds on the show. As you move towards the late 1960s, there were a lot of racial undertones. And now, in 2011 our television programing is filled with sex and violence. It has only been 60 years and we went from innocent to bad behavior. It makes me question, "Where will it go?" The TV industry said, "We (industry) will continue to push the envelope." Tell me again why we cannot go back to the 1950's programing?

 I think it is very possible that writers, directors or producers are becoming more lazy and throw in a sex scene to take up time. It is not just the television company that is to blame. We as viewers expect and possibly want to see that in each show we watch so TV companies are putting in sex scenes to gain and keep viewers. Also, because most people have cable or satellite, there are more channels for viewers to be watching. That is simply more opportunities for people to see sexual activity if television programing continues on the route that it is on. 

I understand that there is a time and a place for sexual activity but I do not believe that to be on the television screen. It is not necessary to promote it because children find out about it at a young age anyways. By reducing sexuality on the screen, I believe we could create a more pure and innocent society.

Violence in Children's Movies

As you can see from my past blog post, I care about children. I care about how society views them. I care about how their parents treat them. And I care about their physical, mental, and emotional safety, which is affected by the things they view.


After watching the movie Cars 2 in the theater, I was worried that children who have seen this film would be mentally and emotionally confused and upset because of the violent content. And that bothered me. Since then I have thought a lot about violence in children's movies and how unacceptable it truly is. I question why violence is needed and incorporated into a movie intended for children. I question what it is teaching these children. And I question what they are taking away from the movie and how it is impacting their lives.


Here is how it started...
This past summer I was a nanny for twins who are four years old. These kids, Andy and Annika, are OBSESSED with the movie Cars. They watched the movie on a regular basis. They have Lightning McQueen everything: shoes, blankets, backpacks, books, everything. The only thing Andy liked to play was with cars from the movie Cars. He has Lightning McQueen, Tow Mater, Sally, Mack, Doc, King, Luigi, Fillmore. You name it, he has it. So you could say a majority of my summer revolved around this movie. Of course we were really looking forward to the release of the new movie, Cars 2, and were excited to go and see it.


After it was released in theaters, I began to hear some crummy things about the movie. I heard that it was violent, characters were being killed, and there was a little bit of language not appropriate for younger children. After hearing these tidbits of information, I had to decide whether or not to bring Andy and Annika to this highly anticipated movie. 


I started by reading reviews of the movie on Common Sense Media and I was getting reviews like some that follow...

1. "This movie is extremely violent. I can NOT believe it got a G rating. There are so many guns, machine guns, bombs, etc. Many cars die, one is tortured and killed, and they try to kill Lightning McQueen. With the original Cars having such a huge little kids following, I really don't know what Pixar was thinking, taking it in this direction. They have shown such talent with other films, like they could pull off anything. They could have done the Bond theme without the violence, it could've been a lot of fun. Why did they have to stoop? I'm really disappointed in Pixar. This is a really bad kids movie."

2. "Let me start by saying I HAVE seen the movie. I have never reviewed a movie here before but was so disturbed by this movie I felt as a parent I have a responsibility to other parents to warn them about this film. THIS MOVIE GLORIFIES GUNS IN A WAY THAT SHOULD BE DISTURBING TO ANY PARENT! I do not understand how it got a G rating. I took my 6 year old and my teenage sons and at one point in the movie even my teenager leaned to me and said "mom maybe we should leave. He (the 6 year old) shouldn't be watching this". I am shocked and saddened that Disney took characters meant for kids (that our family loved) and turned them into something else. Scenes of torture, intense gun violence, explosions, death of cars, and the constant reference to tomater as the idiot and fool was not what I thought we were going to see. My child was afraid at times and did say he liked the movie but "the new cars were scary and mean". This movie is not for kids and is the first movie I have seen in a very long time that I feel this strongly about. We have waited for this movie for months and even more than disapointed I am alarmed that this amount of violence was even in a kids movie. DO NOT SEE!"

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/cars-2

After reading some of these alarming reviews I communicated with the twins' mom about seeing the movie. We decided that Andy and Annika should not see the movie. Needless to say, the twins were VERY disappointed.

The curiosity was getting to me and I had to see the movie now. So naturally my boyfriend and I went to see Cars 2. After seeing the movie all I can say is thank God I did not bring Andy and Annika to it.

Cars 2 was filled with violence and magnified it. My boyfriend liked it. But he is almost 20 years old. He liked the high speed chases, explosions and gun fire. What 20 year old guy would not like that kind of movie? But that just proves my point. A four year old should not like or even be watching movies that a 20 year old guy likes because of the intense violent scenes. So that leads me to question why violence would be in a children's movie anyways. 

Cars 2 seemed to be an attempt at a kid-friendly James Bond action movie with a sense of thrill. It included...

• high speed chases 
• Tow Mater being equipped with guns
• gun violence
• cars being tortured
• a fist fight between spy cars
• a car being burned alive (evident torture)
• and it implied that a car explodes

Those are all things that I would expect to find in a James Bond movie, NOT a rated G children's movie. I do not know about you...but I would not want my children watching James Bond movies even if it was a cartoon or made specifically with kids in mind.  

I believe there are three extensive problems with the violence in Cars 2 and violence in children's movies in general...

1. The rating system. Cars 2 was rated G for General Audiences.
2. Movies lead to extended merchandise so when considering Cars 2, a violent movie creates additional violent merchandise.
3. Children will accept anything they see in the movies as the truth, especially if the admired lead character (For example, Lightning McQueen or Tow Mater) says or does something. 

First, Cars 2 was rated G. I have always assumed G stood for general audience which would imply it is appropriate for all ages. To me appropriate for all ages is no violence, no sex, no harmful language and no abusive behaviors. After watching Cars 2, either I did not understand what "rated G" really meant or the Motion Picture Association of America really screwed this one up. To make sure I was not going crazy, I looked up what "rated G" means, or furthermore, what it's supposed to mean. According to the MPAA...

"G — General Audiences. All Ages Admitted. A G-rated motion picture contains nothing in theme, language, nudity, sex, violence or other matters that, in the view of the Rating Board, would offend parents whose younger children view the motion picture. The G rating is not a "certificate of approval," nor does it signify a "children’s" motion picture. Some snippets of language may go beyond polite conversation but they are common everyday expressions. No stronger words are present in G-rated motion pictures. Depictions of violence are minimal. No nudity, sex scenes or drug use are present in the motion picture."

http://www.mpaa.org/ratings/what-each-rating-means 

As it expresses, violence should be minimal and that is just not the case in Cars 2. Many parents and guardians of young children depend on these ratings to judge whether or not a movie is appropriate for their child because quite frankly, you cannot usually tell from the trailer. It is disappointing to know that you cannot always trust them. It also mentions that no other themes should be present that "...offend parents whose younger children view the motion picture." And as we saw earlier, there have been far more incidents of this offense besides the two examples of reviews I have listed. It looks like Pixar got the benefit of the doubt when it came to rating Cars 2. 


Next, movies lead to selling merchandise so when considering Cars 2, a violent movie creates additional violent merchandise. How many times have you walked around Target or Walmart and seen Cars stickers, Cars video games, Cars books, Cars clothing, Cars school supplies etc? It was not a bad thing to buy your kids merchandise from the first Cars movie because it was a kid-friendly movie with a exceptional message. I question if it is acceptable for kids to be playing video games with guns and explosives in it or to be wearing a t-shirt with explosions in the background- all things that Cars 2 merchandise would include. I believe a violent movie would lead to violent merchandise that is not acceptable for children. 

For example...

Tow Mater equipped with guns on this toy car.
(http://www.disneystore.com/cars/toys/mn/1000012+1000208/)

Explosions in the background on this t-shirt. 
(http://www.disneystore.co.uk/t-shirts-clothing-accessories-disney-pixar-cars-2-finn-mcmissile-spy-t-shirt/mp/40822/1000235/)

This is a picture that is waiting to be colored in my own Cars 2 coloring book. I am 19 so I can handle coloring this but there are explosions and firing of weapons in the background and we're expecting little kids to color this? It almost makes me sick.

Lastly, children will accept anything they see in the movies as the truth especially if Lightning McQueen or Tow Mater says something or does something. Basically, kids believe what they see and hear. Do you want your kids mimicking words like "idiot" and "fool?" Because Cars 2 used them like they're no big deal at all, kids who have heard these insults will use them in that same context: like they're "no big deal." If that doesn't get to you, what about the fact that kids may want to play guns and war after seeing this movie. They will want to play with toy guns or they will use their hands as guns. They will be making a firing sound with their mouths. When parents tell their children to find a new game because that one was "too violent" the kids could very easily respond, "Why can't I do it, Tow Mater did it." That would give birth to a conversation that could have been prevented if there was less violence in children's movies.


After having to tell Andy and Annika that they could not see Cars 2 because it was too violent, it made me aware of violence in children's movies and and it began to worry me. If violence was not present in children's movies, it would make the G rating more trustworthy, it would produce less violent merchandise targeted at children and it would allow children to reflect more of what they see in a movie without it being inappropriate. I truly care about children and think removing violence from children's movies would help to keep their innocence and help them stay a kid for as long as possible...and that, my friends, is important.

Toddlers and Tiaras On TLC

TLC is The Learning Channel. If I didn't know anything about this channel and thought about the TV shows that I would expect to see on The Learning Channel, Toddlers and Tiaras is not what would come to my mind. TLC's website describes Toddlers and Tiaras as what follows below...

"On any given weekend, on stages across the country, little girls and boys parade around wearing makeup, false eyelashes, spray tans, and fake hair to be judged on their beauty, personality and costumes. Toddlers and Tiaras follows families on their quest for sparkly crowns, big titles, and lots of cash.

The preparation is intense as it gets down to the final week before the pageant. From hair and nail appointments, to finishing touches on gowns and suits, to numerous coaching sessions or rehearsals, each child preps for their performance. But once at the pageant, it's all up to the judges and drama ensues when every parent wants to prove that their child is beautiful." (http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/toddlers-tiaras/about-toddlers-and-tiaras.htm)

If Toddlers and Tiaras is defined by that definition then I don't think it belongs on The Learning Channel. I've only watched Toddlers and Tiaras maybe five times, but each time an episode gets done, I find myself questioning why I spent a whole hour watching such a disgusting show. I disapprove of many aspects of the show including the preparation process, some of the little girls' attitudes and some of the mothers' intentions but those are their individual choices. The thing that I disapprove of even more, is the fact that such an atrocious show can be aired on TLC. 


I have been upset that Toddlers and Tiaras has been on TLC for awhile so I decided to look up and see what TLC's mission statement was. The original mission statement spelled out by Founder and Chairman John Hendricks in 1982 is...

"To satisfy curiosity and make a difference in people's lives by providing the highest quality content, services and products that entertain, engage and enlighten." (http://corporate.discovery.com/leadership/)

The show Toddlers and Tiaras does not fit the mold of what TLC has stated they want airing on their channel.  Let's break down the mission statement and see if Toddlers and Tiaras is a good fit for TLC...


"To satisfy curiosity-" I'll give this one to them; Toddlers and Tiaras does satisfy curiosity. Although some viewers (like me) are appalled when they watch the show, it gives viewers a chance to see what the life of a little pageant queen is like. You get to see all of the time and effort that goes into making these young girls look like teenagers.


"And make a difference in people's lives-" This show does not make a difference in my life. I don't know about you, but the only thing that is has taught me is that if I have a daughter some day, I don't want her involved in pageants.


"By providing the highest quality content-" I don't think this is quality TV! It seems to be another kind of reality show and I don't consider reality shows to be quality TV.


"Services and products that entertain-" I have to give them this one too. Toddlers and Tiaras is entertaining. Whether you agree with it or not, you find yourself staring at the TV. And you probably won't turn it off until it's over...right?


"Engage-" Like entertaining, it's engaging. You get hooked.


"And enlighten.-" I don't find anything about this show enlightening. I don't find myself gaining knowledge from that show.


Besides the fact that Toddlers and Tiaras does not belong on TLC according to its mission statement, I found out that TLC knows and acknowledges the fact that the show is controversial. That is probably a good thing that they're aware of this but they flaunt it. Right on their website, they have two video tabs labeled "Oh No They Didn't!" and "Top 10 Most Controversial Parents." Under these tabs, you can find almost an hour worth of video clips on controversial parents and moments during the season where the viewer's jaws have dropped and they think, "did they really just do that," or "are you kidding me?" 


I watched some of these clips and here are some facts that I learned about the show and the people involved in it...

• Most girls (and some boys) competing in pageants get spray tans, their eyebrows waxed, fake nails, a flipper for a better smile, new outfits for each pageant and they shave their legs. Specific examples include...

1. Alaska's mom convinced her to dye her eyelashes because they were too lightly colored naturally.
2. Peyton's mom started spray tanning her daughter when she was 11 months old.
3. Paisley dressed up like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. She plays a prostitute.
4. Maddy's outfit of choice was a Dolly Parton outfit. It included fake breasts and a fake butt.

• The parents get very involved and have strong and persistent opinions.

1. Carley's mom admitted to spending nearly $30,000 on pageants in one year.
2. Hayden and Maverick's (two boys) mom said, "these are my girls that I never had so I'll just turn them into girls."
3. Paige's dad is a chiropractor and adjusts her back before every pageant.
4. Cassidy's mom described her child as a nasty little brat.

• It affects the girls mentally and emotionally.

1. Morghan said that when she doesn't win, she feels guilty. (http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/toddlers-tiaras-unforgettable-moments-videos/)

All of those examples were aired on TLC and were placed on the TLC website. The fact of the matter is, I personally believe it's wrong to have toddlers dressed like pageant queens but what I think makes it even more disgusting and inappropriate is that it's on national television. A new episode is aired each Wednesday and I'm sure repeats are played more often. With all of those chances for viewers to watch it, it creates an ethical issue. 

The ethical issue of Toddlers and Tiaras being on television is the content of the show being shown in 210 countries and in 40 languages. (http://corporate.discovery.com/our-company/locations/)That provides many opportunities for people to take a false message away from the show. By TLC broadcasting Toddlers and Tiaras, I believe they are sending four bad messages to their viewers.

1. It is hurting those toddlers who are in beauty pageants physically, mentally and emotionally. Physically by waxing their eyebrows and doing other things to create outer beauty. Mentally because these girls are disappointed and guilty when they lose. It is also influencing the children to think that their appearance is all that matters. And emotionally because they often fight with their parents. This is promoting these ideas.
2. It is displaying to girls that they need to look like that in order to be a "winner" in peoples eyes. When that's what girls see, that's what they'll do. We strive to fit in and be excepted so little girls would be influenced by what they are seeing on TV. It is focusing on outside beauty not inner beauty and inner beauty is what counts.
3. I question if this show is making boys expect girls to look like that. Is it raising the expectation on what a "beautiful" girl looks like to boys?
4. Lastly, is it putting the idea of pageants into new mom's heads? Are they wondering if they must put their daughters in beauty pageants for them to be considered a cute little kid?

Even though I occasionally find myself watching Toddlers and Tiaras and you probably do too, does that make it okay to air it? Does it match what The Learning Channel is trying to provide to their viewers? Where does ethics come into play when profit is the main goal? Should our toddlers look like the girls below? 

(http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/toddlers-tiaras/toddlers-and-tiaras-pictures.htm)

Personally, I don't think so!